This essay as stated is based on a conversation with Ashley Masona 27-year-old business owner in Massachusetts. The following has been edited for length and clarity.
I started my marketing agency in 2016. I worked hard to build it from scratch and I told myself that if I got married, I wanted to protect this asset at all costs.
I’ve heard stories from other entrepreneurs about how they built a business, got married without getting married, and later got divorced. Some had to hand over money and partial ownership of the business to their ex-spouse.
I spent so much time building my business that I couldn’t imagine losing any of it to a divorce. I promised myself that when I met my future partner, we would sign a prenup before we got married.
Getting a prenup was a non-negotiable for me
After meeting my fiance in 2018, we talked about prenup a few times before we got engaged. You hear stories of people being offended by the idea of a prenup, but my fiance didn’t care at all. He is ambitious and works for his father’s plumbing business. He was totally fine with it.
I believe contracts are essential in business and relationships. It may not sound romantic to compare love with business, but when you’re going to legally marry someone, I believe it’s best to have a contract that spells out the worst-case scenario.
Before I work with a client, we sign a contract that protects us if something goes wrong. I would never do business with someone without that legal protection because it could end up in an expensive lawsuit. This is why it makes sense from a personal perspective as well.
I have more assets than just my business and money in bank accounts
I often hear people say they don’t need a prenup because they don’t have any assets other than their cash or investment accounts. Not so for me. With my money, I bought assets like a car and a 16-acre property.
While I’m excited to share my money and assets with my partner and plan to split our bills and expenses, I still want to protect my assets if something happens. The only way to do this legally is by having a detailed prenup.
Plus, a prenup isn’t one-sided. She also protects my fiance, and he can add whatever assets he wants to protect.
We spent a year working on our prenup
My fiancé and I got engaged in November 2022 and set a wedding date for October 2024. Seven months after he got engaged, I suggested we begin the prenup process.
We first audited all of our assets in and out of our bank accounts. For example, my fiance has a truck, snowmobiles and skis. We listed all his belongings and their values. Afterwards, we discussed how we would split things up if we split up.
We decided what’s mine is mine, and what’s his is his. Anything we own together, like the house we own together, will be split 50-50. We have not agreed on anything during this process.
My fiance decided not to hire his own lawyer
While I chose to hire an attorney, my fiance decided not to hire his. He felt that since we were on the same page, it didn’t make sense for him to pay for a lawyer when he was willing to sign the prenup that my lawyer and I were going to draw up.
This is allowed in Massachusetts; however, my attorney said that if we were to divorce, the judge could rule more in his favor. I was okay with that risk.
On the recommendation of a colleague, I found a lawyer. Over the past year, we have had about five meetings.
There was a lot of back and forth because our fortunes changed during that time. After each meeting, I would share with my fiance what the lawyer and I talked about or add to the prenuptial draft. As of July 11, 2024, the prenup is signed and notarized, which makes it final.
I paid about $5,000 for the prenup, but I see it as an investment in my future
My fiancé offered to split the cost of the prenup with me, but I felt it wasn’t fair for him to pay. Since I designed the prenup more favorably, I thought it only fair to shoulder the cost.
My prenup cost about $5,000. It may seem like a lot, but I was happy to spend a little money now to potentially save in the long run.
The trickiest part was finding alimony
At first, I decided not to award any alimony, which is financial support that will allow your ex-spouse to maintain the lifestyle he had when he was married to you. My attorney advised me that if a judge sees this in your prenup, it may be seen as unfair to the other party.
We decided to include alimony terms in the prenup as I earn about 40% more than my partner per year. My fiancé and I agreed on a tiered system based on the number of years we’ve been together. For example, if we are together for five years, there would be no alimony, but in 10 years a certain percentage would be given, and so on.
Prenups aren’t just for rich people
There is a stigma around getting married that if you get one, it’s because you’re too rich. This is not true, but at the age of 27, no one knows that he has a pre-marriage. I couldn’t turn to friends for advice, so I researched independently.
We’re just weeks away from the wedding, and now that the prenup is signed, I feel like we can focus on what’s next. Eventually we want to have kids and buy more houses together. We have a strong relationship and are entering the marriage knowing that we are on the same page now and will be in the future.
Want to share your story? Email Lauryn Haas at lhaas@businessinsider.com.